http://www.losingsomethingelse.com Other Than My Mind Sun, 02 Aug 2009 23:31:35 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en The last two weeks at group have been focused on body image, which is particularly hard for me. I have always said that I don't have low self-esteem. I have high self-hatred. That makes having any appreciation for my physical self incredibly difficult. During week one, I was pretty furious, honestly. ... http://www.losingsomethingelse.com/?p=145 I think the break that I took this last week from posting here really helped me get a little more perspective on things.  Did it shut up E.D?  No.  But it helped me remember that I have a voice and I can scream back if and when I need to. This ... http://www.losingsomethingelse.com/?p=133 The scale shows a four pound gain in something around 20 hours. The thought ran through my mind that shaving my head might make the scale drop a bit. If it had not rained most of the day yesterday, I would have spent an inordinate amount of time on my bike and ... http://www.losingsomethingelse.com/?p=141 It's been a helluva week.  Damn, really it has been a hell of a month when it has come to me struggling with this damn eating disorder.  See, it's been....well this month I've only managed to lose three pounds.  Three measly, miniscule little pounds.  (Hello, Mr. Ed.  Thanks for popping ... http://www.losingsomethingelse.com/?p=137 I started this post DAYS ago.  Wednesday to be exact.  I just didn't quite know what to say or how to say it. I struggled with my homework for group this week.  I was asked to make a list of reasons to give up ED and reasons not to.  And honestly, ... http://www.losingsomethingelse.com/?p=112 So, I went to the intensive outpatient group. And unfortunately, it ended up meeting a lot of the negative expectations that I had. I'm not planning on quitting, but I'm just frustrated. It's a BED group, and though I agree that I binge, I also have "compensatory behavior" given that I ... http://www.losingsomethingelse.com/?p=107 I've been alone all weekend. W is at a family reunion and The Boy is visiting his grandmother. I was sick most of the weekend, and today is really the first day that I have felt vaguely human again. Stupid sinus cold! Anyway, so all day today I've been....feeling something. I'm ... http://www.losingsomethingelse.com/?p=105 One of the very first mental illness symtpoms to pop up and rear it's ugly head was sleep disturbance.  For as long as I can remember, I've woken up on a regular basis gasping for breath, screaming, or with all of my muscles tensed up to the point where I ... http://www.losingsomethingelse.com/?p=101 I've spent the last few days processing all of my therapy sessions for the last week and a half or so.  Between the therapist at Melrose and H, my regular therapist, I've been challenged to the bone and left very raw on numerous occasions. We talked about redefining "health" about a ... http://www.losingsomethingelse.com/?p=97 I received a fairly angry email this morning about the fact that I call this an eating disorder recovery blog and yet I keep track of my weight on a seperate tab.  First, I want to apologize to the reader that was offended by this.  That is in no way ... http://www.losingsomethingelse.com/?p=93